Charles Mingus – A Colloquial Dream

Well here I am
Right back where I was yesterday
The day before
And the day before that

Sitting on a high bar stool
Holding my dreams up to the sound of jazz music

I live uptown
Where I don’t exactly know
I’m always down town
And it seems I’m always with the blues

I talk to myself in public places and hum jazz tunes
I love jazz
But soon I have to make it up town to that ol’ furnished room of mine
I guess that’s why I stall so long down town
But I like the cafe bars down here
Especially the ones across the streets from theaters

I once wanted to be on the stage
But this is the closest I’ll ever get to one
I couldn’t afford a seat next to the Sears

That was jazz music you heard blasting out
Now I’ve got 15 cents between me and starvation
And I’d probably have to walk all the way up town
Cause I’m playing that music again
You see, I love jazz music

That’s pretty music, boy
Pretty but it ain’t really pretty
It ain’t like girls in magazines
It’s beautiful
It’s terribly beautiful, man

Say like a woman you’ve been with last night
Or say an hour ago

Sad huh
Sorta reminds of that old building I live in
My room, looking out over [?]
Now catch this.
Dig!

Now here I am standing at the window in my old building
It’s nighttime in Harlem
I sure wish I could just relax and be cool
It’s just like my mother said
Don’t cause nothing to wish, Jack

[?]

Yeah, early in the mornin’ time
Late in the night time
I’m with the blues

Sometimes I’m laughing and having myself a ball
And that’s why God keeps tellin’ me that the blues ain’t all up there in that ol’ room
Sometimes it’s dancing and strikes like a woman
Skips in the heart like children playin’ ball
And maybe that’s why I always manage to change once in a while
Even with the blues

Whether I like it or not, I love the idea of living, man
And sometimes it’s tough, man
And I don’t mean tough like when Miles is groovin’ with his horn
I mean tough like when I can’t make that morning meal
When I’m duckin’ the landlady and everything I have is in harm
Like when I think

When I think about all the places I haven’t been and won’t ever like to get there
I think maybe I will
Yes that’s the way I think
Like the song says the sun gonna shine in my backdoor someday
All the way down to the bottom of my stomach and up again
That’s the way I feel

Pretty, man
But not pretty
Beautiful like a woman
A real woman

(from the ‘Tijuana Moods‘ sessions)